The Drought ! ! !💀

For the past two weeks, our class has been writing the ending of the story Thirst.

If I was the author this is how I would have written the end of the story.

Dad shouted once more. His voice rumbled through the trees, scattering the birds that had been perched at the cans quenching their thirst. Ryder heard him this time but did not respond Because he was scared. Scared that he might be grounded when he got home, or that he might get a growling, or a hiding, he did not want to come home to his angry father he thought to himself, will dad ever understand? Will he forgive me?

He started walking home about 5hrs later Because he knew that his parents would be in bed by now, but he was wrong. His parents were not in bed, no, in fact, they weren't even at home when he got there they were out looking for him, with a search party.

When they could not find him they came home for the night to see him lying on the couch fast asleep they left him there fast asleep and they would talk to him in the morning, his father carried him to his bed Ryder was still fast asleep. 

In the morning when they were all awake Ryder, his father and his mother sat down and had a talk. Ryder was thinking about all of the worst possible things that were gonna happen to him, like, was he getting a lecture, was he gonna be grounded, was he gonna get a hiding - what could possibly happen?
He thought to himself.
But it was nothing too bad, he only got an hour-long lecture and had to apologize to the Aqua-Plex company manager for stealing the company's water.

After Ryder apologized they went home when suddenly, it started to rain then tears of joy fell from their face, they all ran outside and started to dance in the rain like a bunch of happy baboons in the Savanna forests.  

Writing with Alice

I have been learning to use show not tell to make my narrative interesting. To do this I have tried to have character dialogue, describe what the characters think and feel. this is a story Me and Alice changed. I hope you like it😁

 The Rip

    Gold = show not tell that's in the narrative  

   

WALT use ‘show not tell’ when we write a narrative  

How do we do this team?

• By describing characters' looks, feelings, thoughts, and actions

•  By using figurative language well 

• Dialogue - main characters and others.  

There once were two brothers who were not at all alike; they were different in every way. The younger brother stayed on the sand, collecting shells and building sandcastles. The older brother was always in the water. The older brother liked to swim with his friends, diving and tumbling, bombing and snorkeling, swiming and surfing. During the day the older brother liked to go on lots of adventures but the younger brother would stay safe on the sand. Sometimes the older brother would creep up to the younger brother and drag him into the water because he knew that the younger brother despised the water. “Oh come on you little chicken it’s only waves,” teased the older brother. Whenever they were together they fought and argued, all the

One morning their mother grew annoyed with them,“ Like cats and mice! Go play outside, and play together please.” Jack was slouching the whole way to the beach. “Ugh. Why do you have to be here?! You’ll make everything boring,” Jack moaned. “You know what? You're such a wimp! You’re afraid of everything! That's why Mum told us to go outside.” fumed his brother. Soon, Jack went to grab his surfboard and surf with his friends.

A little while later, Jack yelled to James, “James, if you don’t hurry up, you’ll miss this wave!” James scuttled over the sand to the brim of the ocean, he was trembling with fear.“ B-but…What if I drown or get eaten by a shark?” “ Ugh, you’re lame! If you don’t come and swim with us, I’ll pull you in“ teased Jack. pk

James squinted at the ground, then looked at Jack. he looked as if he was getting dragged by a rip. He said his prayers and waited for his brother to come back, but he knew Jack wouldn’t come back even if he was a dolphin when he came into the water. What could he do? So James started to go into the chaos-y waves and even started to swim

Fierce waves started punching James in the gut while floating around. Sharks, whales, demons of the deep - was James gonna survive? His mind longed to turn back, but his heart wouldn't let him survive if he swam back, leaving Jack to drown. Waves pushed and tumbled Jack further from the shore and soon he started to feel sick to his stomach, “Why am I getting caught in a rip while my friends are safe on the shore?” Jack thought to himself and started to swim back to shore - wasting his energy.

James was starting to worry about Jack until he came across a person( with dreadlocks ) on a surfboard, “ AAAAHHHHH!” The dreadlock surfer crashed in front of him( he looked as if he had swallowed two or more whales! ) “dude, what are you doing out here?” “Well, my brother is caught in a rip, can you please help me?” “Okay dude, but you should go back man, it's dangerous out here” but James shook his head, he wasn’t going back till’ his brother came back safe and back onto the shore like the rest of his friends.

 Jack saw some chubby guy coming towards him and started waving his arms frantically in the air and wailing. His voice was supposed to shout and ask for help, but he kept swallowing water. He felt his consciousness go away from him as he fainted. 

Once Jack woke up, he found himself on the shore, safe and away from the ocean. Jack got up and looked around only to see a guy with dreadlocks. “Who are you? Where’s James?” Jack scoffed “Jack! I knew you’d wake up!” Jack surprisedly looked up to see James running to him with a huge smile on his face.

 “Let's go home, together please.” James and Jack chuckled quietly and started racing back: through the dunes, over the little hill, and back to the front door. When they got home, their mother was setting the table, then looked at them, puzzled, “You two are oddly quiet, are you okay?” James smiled at Jack, and Jack smiled back.

Boringest Thing Ever Do Not Read!!!

Here is a reading I did in class this week I hope, you find it interesting.

Well-being

 in-class we are learning what it means to be healthy physically and mentally and this is my slide show presentation thing on how to stay healthy😁  

MY COLD TASK

In class, we did a 'cold task' to find out about what we already know. our cold task was on a narrative weighting. this is a snapshot of what I can do in 30 mins by myself.

We are learning to self-assess our writing so we know what we are good at and what we need to work on.

I want to improve my writing by using figurative language and 2A sentences👍🏾

 COLD TASK🥶

 TERM 2 2022 NARRATIVE 

Write a narrative, this could be a story you make up or a whanau story you retell. 

Name: Lenore

When I was a baby my dad thought it was a good idea to give me peanut butter; after that my ear swilled up and they had to take me to the hospital bc it turned out that babies are NOT supposed to eat peanut butter.🤦🏽‍♀

Once when I was 8 we had mini quods and my older sister took me for a ride on one but then it flipped and I got a massive boil on the back of my leg for like a month then my took me to the clinic to get it popped and heaps of pus came out . . .🤮

Forgiveness article reading response

 This week our class  has been learning about 

Hit By A Tornado🌪😱

In class, I read Hatchet. I have been thinking about the author's message. We had to write a reading response to the book in testing conditions. Here are my thoughts about the book.

Hatchet Novel Response

By Lenore

This term S2 read a book called hatchet 

This is a story about a boy called Brian who was going to visit his dad for the holiday but the pilot had a heart attack and they crashed.

Brian had to survive so he wouldn't die.

I think the author's message was that you don't need your parents to help you like a little baby and that you need to learn how to do things on your own so you don't end up as a couch potato because if you end up as a couch potato you will never get a job.

Just like Brian did, like how brian made his own hut, killed his own food, started his own fire, survived a moose attack and he even survived a tornado. I think we need to stop being lazy couch potatoes and stop treating our parents like crap and start helping them!!! 

So in summary I think the author wanted the people that read them to have a great time reading them instead of feeling ripped off.

THE END